I just spent the better part of an hour reading the voter guide on the few propositions I was not already educated on. I carefully blackened all the corresponding ovals on my absentee ballot, so that my selections would not accidentally be subject to a “calibration error” and be cast the opposite of how I voted, especially in the presidential race. I sealed the envelope, signed it, and as I laid the envelope on the outgoing mail pile, I resigned myself to having just completely wasted all that time and energy.
Who was I kidding? I have no doubt that this year, just like the last 4 elections that I can recall (possibly more), every proposition I voted on will go the exact opposite of how I voted, and other than some of my local political representatives, every other race will likely go to the other candidate.
Being a pro-gun, pro-law and order, anti-drug conservative living in California is seriously like living behind enemy lines. I feel like someone living in East Berlin during the cold war. I know what I want, I can see it just over the state line, but I am trapped here where my opinion counts for dick. My job is to protect the public, the same public who every single year votes for laws which not only make that job harder, but the public who also votes for laws, or politicians who push laws, that make it more difficult for that very same public to protect themselves.
I feel like the last sane Roman sitting on a hill watching Rome burn in the distance. I absolutely hate this feeling.