F–king Tired Of Burying Coworkers

 

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The following was sent to me just a short while ago by a Sacramento County deputy who wants to remain anonymous.
-Matt


Today, a man I have known for 22 years, a man with whom I attended the academy, a man who was a father, a grandfather, a slightly goofy, cowboy boot wearing, chew spitting, lifted truck driving, well intentioned country bumpkin was murdered while doing his job, because he was doing his job.  He was shot in the back by a worthless piece of shit who had just shot two other cops, because they too were doing their jobs.

Bob and I were not close.  He and I had different interests, worked different shifts, and had a different way of doing things.  We did not always see eye to eye, but we always got along at work.  Even if we did not agree on something, we were always polite to one another.  I’m going to miss him, more than I ever thought I would.

This is the eighth (8th) coworker from my department I have had to bury during my career.  I’ve come very close to burying several others, but by the grace of God, they are still with us, although some of them were forced to leave the job due to the extent of their injuries.  Countless others have left the job due to debilitating injuries, both physical and emotional.

This job is a destroyer.  It directly takes the lives of an average of 150 people every year, and those are just the people who die on the job.  That does not account for those who leave the job because they are broken, either physically or mentally.  That also does not include the 300 cops who take their own lives every single year.  A very close friend of mine was almost part of that last statistic, but thankfully he is not only still here with us, but he sought help and even though he has left the job, he does what he can to teach others about what can happen to us that leads us down that path.

Beyond the deaths and physical injuries, this job destroys marriages, family lives and social lives.  If you let it, it will take everything from you.

What thanks do we get for following this noble calling?  There are organizations dedicated specifically to hating us.  There are lawyers whose careers are spent suing us.  We are called racists, no matter what race we are.  We are called pigs, because we dare enforce laws enacted by the very people elected by those calling us pigs.  We are called murderers by the families of felons, who given the chance, would have killed us instead.  We are portrayed as evil humans by the media and politicians.  Every single split-second action of ours is second guessed, under a microscope, for months and years.

We endure this all for a salary that, even in the best of situations, puts one in the middle class, but in most places, leaves one looking for a second job just to make ends meet.

Today, I find myself really pondering why I am still doing this.  I know I am not alone.

In a few days, I will put on my dress uniform, join thousands of other officers at a church, and bury yet another coworker.

This society as a whole takes us cops for granted.  While a news story about a murdered cop gets headlines, to most who see that headline, the thought of the cop’s loss vaporizes as they turn the page or click the next link.  While my coworkers and I will never forget his name, most of the society he protected daily has already forgotten it.

This shit is beyond old.

I’m sick and fucking tired of burying coworkers.

We have the watch from here, bro.  Thank you for your service.  May you rest in peace.

This undated photo provided by the Sacramento County Sheriff's Department shows Deputy Robert French. A gunman with an assault rifle shot and killed French, 52, and wounded two California Highway Patrol officers Wednesday, Aug. 30, 2017 at a Sacramento, Calif., hotel that was later surrounded by officers searching for suspects. French, a 21-year veteran of the Sacramento County Sheriff's Department, died on the way to a hospital. (Sacramento County Sheriff's Department via AP)
This undated photo provided by the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department shows Deputy Robert French. A gunman with an assault rifle shot and killed French, 52, and wounded two California Highway Patrol officers Wednesday, Aug. 30, 2017 at a Sacramento, Calif., hotel that was later surrounded by officers searching for suspects. French, a 21-year veteran of the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department, died on the way to a hospital. (Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department via AP)

Copyright (c) 2017 Deputy Matt and Others Who Serve, all rights reserved.

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Matt
Deputy Sheriff at California
Matt is a full time Deputy Sheriff that has been on the job since 1996. During his time as a LEO he's attended countless training classes and is a court recognized firearms expert. Matt brings a unique perspective to discussion regarding the second amendment given his LEO experience and life time appreciation of firearms and our 2nd Amendment rights.
  • Jonathan Arnold

    Fukkin crybaby, you made yer choices, deal with it…

    • Marie Humble

      you’re a piece of shit. WOW.

      • Raymond Battle

        If hes a piece of shit what does that make the cops that shoot unarmed young men almost daily in this country profile everyone in a single race that are taught to see certain ehtnicities as immediate threats..im no cop hater but i also have a conscious thought about all lives ive had contact with some awesome officers im my life that are fair kind respectful and still get there job done..and then there are the others…one thing that has always bothered me is the blue code of silence if you know something or someone is not fit to server or has done something wrong why not stand up and condemn them or the action is just as much part of the problem…if you are a cop and you belive every time you pull over a african american your life is in danger you should not be in this line of work..we are citizens first and deserve to be respected and treated as such..

        • JpRAustin

          respect is earned, not simply deserved

          • Raymond Battle

            And with that we understand why our nation is severely lacking in common sence and courtesy you dont demand respect from anyone you meet upon meeting them you offer that courtesy and you iether recieve it in return or you dont then you have every right to give or not give in return..

        • CardiLover

          You watch too many TV cop shows.

          • Raymond Battle

            No my man i actually lived those tv shows ive been hands on in the worst of the worst to help rid our streets of drugs violence etc.ive worked in places you could not get police to frequent from L.A to the tenerloin district protecting property people finances you name it all the way to the rich and famous tsa exectutive air…so no im not much into tv as a source…

          • GI Joe

            Then you’ve learned the wrong lessons from your experiences. You really should review the justifications for use of deadly force. Every department, local, county and state, has one. I believe you will find, contrary to your beliefs, that there are MANY circumstances in which an “unarmed” person represents a deadly threat to others, including law enforcement officers.

            I agree that there have been situations I found troubling in which an officer felt the need to use a firearm instead of other means to deal with a subject. But I wasn’t there. I’m not trained in law enforcement. I’m a RN. I’m also a martial artist. I understand unarmed response to attack, as well as initiating an unarmed attack.

            Your responses demonstrate a rather surprising lack of understanding after exposure to the experiences you claim. That’s a shame.

    • Jen

      Yes we made that choice, and thank God for that because pieces of shit, like you, are too afraid and too selfish to be willing to put your life on the line to protect complete strangers. Maybe you would have a different attitude if you had to constantly go to the funerals of good friends and co-workers (assuming you have a job). Obviously, compassion is not a trait of yours. Thank God for every officer out there, including retirees.

    • Don Hicks

      Seriously? What the hell is wrong with you?

    • Jamie Anders

      Jonathan Arnold. Yes you are right “We made the choice” we made the choice to defend those who cannot defend themselves, uphold the laws, and try to keep the peace between feuding people(family, gang members and neighbors). We still have feelings, we care about the little boy who is lost, the grandma that has been physically abused by her grandson or another family member, the Alzheimer’s patient who went for a walk and can’t find their way home. We care for those who can’t speak up for themselves and we care for our partners as well as our families. We help those who have just been shot, stabbed or beat up while trying to rob a home, but the homeowner fought back. We still help those “suspects” because that is who we are. We stand tall with our badge pinned on our chest, just as tall as the day we had it pinned on us. Why because we believe in right and wrong and that without someone enforcing the laws and standing up for those who can’t, there would be complete chaos.

      I am sorry you feel the way you do. Maybe something in your life has made you un empathetic to others and I will pray for you that some day you will see the good in people again. I had things in my childhood that could have easily turned me into a very negative person, but instead I chose to make a difference…..a good difference. Here is to my brothers and sister, may we continue to stand tall together, always have each others back and do what is right, even when we hurt,

      • Sue Whitney

        Exceptional reply to J. Arnold which further proves our men/women in blue are of exceptional CHARACTER. While Arnold may BE a character misled by his own emotions and childhood experiences or upbringing, YOU are proof of one with HIGH CHARACTER. If anyone wants to know what that is, just re-read your reply. God bless you and all our one-of-a-kind angels in blue.

        • GI Joe

          I could not agree more. Well said, Ms Whitney.

      • Cheryl Johnson Mc Coy

        Omg you so have a heavy heart I could not of said the beautiful words you said to this person. You all rock and I’m so sorry for your loss of officer French. God Speed.

    • Steve White

      Johnathan Arnold, you Sir are a despicable piece of shit. I bet you are the first to call 9-1-1 for help when your girlfriend beats you. You should apologize for your disgusting remarks.

    • CardiLover

      Did that make you feel better, Mr. Arnold? Did that help anyone, Mr. Arnold? When you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.

    • Tamara Lisa Newby

      fuck you Jonathan Arnold. you heartless piece of shit. A man has died doing his job, which includes protecting “crap ” like you.

    • Michele

      Jonathan Arnold, no one chose to work in law enforcement under this political climate. No citizen, no cop thought that California would ever systematically decriminalize crime. But here we are, and good cops are dying, and it fucking sucks. It is a struggle to go to work when everything you try to accomplish is rendered moot by a broken criminal justice system. I’m happy that this anonymous officer had the opportunity to vent. Hell, I’d like to buy him a beer and commiserate.

  • Jp Saenz

    Not everybody takes it for granted. Some recognize the sacrifice and appreciate you holding the line. Thank you for your service. You are in the right place, stand firm.

  • CardiLover

    My heart breaks for all of you. You took on a monumental job and you get spat on in return. I can’t imagine having to deal with the dregs of society day after day, week after week, year after endless year. Just know that there are still many of us who appreciate your hard work, your dedication to your communities, and your bravery in the face of danger. May God bless and keep you, I am forever grateful. God be with Deputy French as he leaves this earth. God be with his family, friends, and fellow LEOs.

    • GI Joe

      I share your sentiments fully.

  • Hervé Leconte

    I personally did not realize the Law Enforcement “world” even existed until I saw the deranged Media 2 years ago going seriously lunatic after LE. Then I realize LE was the “world” that answered my/our 911 calls….Then I realize LE was the “world” that makes my community safer. When I saw the media lied, then I decided to Thank an Officer every day by creating a simple FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/516311178508825/ . Every time an Officer died it makes me puke, but I will not stop thanking all of you because I/we need you even when we don’t see you, even if we don’t hear from you and even when we forget you are watching over us. THANK YOU to you all Officers……I love you ALL.

    • Thank you sir for what you do. I know I speak for many of my coworkers when I say we appreciate what you do with that group.

  • Jeanne Aujay

    It takes a special person to pin on a badge. A person who cares deeply for others and willingly risks their life every day they go to work. These special people also are watched with eagle eyes by the public until the day comes when they need help. Thank you all for the sacrifices you make for us. The lost holidays and celebrations with family, the way to low rate of pay for risking your life and the abuse from some citizens. I appreciate your service. I will mourn the loss of Deputy French along with you. May he Rest In Peace. May God watch over his family, friends and fellow officers.

  • Kal Sandhu

    Rest In Peace Sir.
    Thank you Peace Officers for keeping communities safe.
    God Bless You All

  • GI Joe

    At the moment, I can only speak for myself. I am a California native who, due to the changing political climate there, was forced to relocate. I now live in a relatively free state. However, I also recently had an epiphany. But for those of you who VOLUNTEER to enforce our laws and face down “the bad guys,” that job would be forced upon we relatively untrained folks to maintain our own neighborhood safety. We would not have access to the resources, including backup, however limited or far away, to do the jobs you folks willingly do each and every day. I’m literally getting too old for that sh*t, so I can appreciate, perhaps more than my younger friends and neighbors, just how valuable you people are to our communities. Please remember that MANY of us mourn with you whenever any of you are lost, in the line of duty or not.

    I have friends and family who have, thankfully, retired from law enforcement. I say thankfully only because I recognize how dangerous a profession law enforcement is. Although some in your profession fall prey to abuse of their positions, as we seem to have seen recently in Utah, FAR more fall prey to human predators like the thugs and criminals of such groups as urban gangs and, now, new threats like the black racist, anti-cop, anti-American “black li(v)es matter” group and such politically motivated criminal/terrorist groups as the self-described “anarcho-communists” of “antifa.”

    I hesitate to make this observation because I wish it to be a topic for discussion rather than to divide further law enforcement from the community you people serve. In my 65+ years, I have noticed a disturbing trend. Among especially younger LEOs, there seems to be an attitude toward the community of “us vs. them.” I strongly suggest that, given recent trends in our society, you older LEOs do whatever is possible to eliminate that attitude and replace it with one more like “one for all, and all for one.” I fear that, in the not too distant future, we’ll be having each others back or we’ll all be falling, as individuals and as a nation, to domestic terror groups like “antifa.”

    I would like to close with simply saying God bless each and every one who has the courage to take an oath to support and defend the US Constitution, their State Constitution, and the laws justly deriving therefrom. May God keep you ALL safe and sound.

    • CardiLover

      I, too, was a CA dweller, married to a CA native. We also fled the state. I agree with your overall assessment of LE. It’s hard to know the why’s of the change in attitude but I suspect it comes from the upper levels of management not having their backs and telling them to stand down all the time. I know this to be true, heard it first hand.

  • ffangel4u

    Matt, thank you so much for protecting and serving. I am so sorry for the hell you’ve had to go through. You’re brother’s and sister’s go through- the countless funerals America has had to witness because of hate. I hate that the media feeds these people with their hate and give them more light than the good into what LEO’s are about. They make you about hate and it’s not. It’s far beyond the scope of those who can’t see the reality of a war against hate and a stigma against race.
    I am especially sorry for your recent loss. The senseless brutality called out on your family in blue. I hope you know there are citizens who have your six also. I would give my life knowing the hell I’ve seen on my brother, who was with the Highlands County Sheriff’s Dept in Sebring, Fl. for 22 years. He retired shortly after telling me my son had died in a head on collision with a semi loaded with oranges. Less than 5 years later, July 30, 2000 he was laid to rest after a short battle with pancreatic cancer.
    Every time I receive an email from ODMP I cringe. Today, it finally hit home. I mean my real home down in Florida. I lived in Highlands Co., Florida most of my life, my family are all LEO’s but one and he is Correctional.
    I can’t even type this without getting emotional. We lost a Deputy Chief and a Correctional Officer in our neighboring county. Hardee is in shock right now because they were expecting Hurricane Irma, not this tragedy. They were involved in an head on collision between each other. Now a county will mourn the loss of both. Both doing what LEO’s do best. Protecting, Serving and doing what they love.
    God bless you for what you do. May God comfort you. There is a reason why you have a badge on your chest. It’s not for the honor. It’s for the courage and the heroism you stand for everyday you go to work. Thank you, Sir.
    http://www.odmp.org/officer/23387-deputy-sheriff-julie-bridges